Open Letter (that means, For All Y’alls)

Dear Madam,

I wish to publicly indicate my regret at having called you “mildly depressed.”  And at having scoffed, verbally, that you were not worth all the attention everyone was giving you.  Yes, you deserved, and deserve, respect and attention.  And no, you’re  not fat (although your water-retention level is off the charts.  And I mean that in the best possible way, of course.)

You are, in fact, a wonderful, fun-loving female (why, just looking at your antics in Sanford and Deltona–the gallons of fun the residents there are experiencing–they look so happy with the indoor swimming pools you’ve provided them!)  But my only regret is that we’re depriving the rest of the eastern seaboard of your marvelous company.

So, I’d love for you to stick around.  But really, I think it’s time for you to move on. For your own sake, of course.  Besides, I’m starting to miss my ol’ pal, Sunny.

No!  Don’t cry!  I didn’t mean it! Aaaaargh…

Brent

It’s Coming!!

(in honor of the massive, terrifying approach of Hurricane…no wait, Tropical Storm…no wait, mildly depressed Fay.)

As seen in: Twister

Usually a character screaming said line at the top of his/her lungs, waving a finger behind him/her, and stating the obvious. Also used to denote impending arrival of some other threat, like dinosaurs. Unfortunately, these people usually survive.

Unrelated safety tip: When you see something threatening bearing down on you, don’t run, or get protective gear. Simply turn from it and yell, “It’s coming!” That’ll do it.

Random Thoughts from the Weekend (Clone of the Mummy edition)

• EPCOT is a great place to go  the night before school starts. There was only a 65 minute wait to get into Soarin’!  (We still didn’t go on it.)
• Darcy and I went to see the new Mummy movie.  In a nutshell, it was a moldy, lifeless, sequel that shambled all over the place, just like a Mummy, and I hate stupid reviews like this.
• I was able to successfully instruct someone in the differences between zombies (undead, brainless, eat brains), vampires (undead, brainy, thirsty), and ringwraiths (not quite dead, brainwashed, eat peanut M&Ms).  I feel my work here is done.
• My friend Rob and I saw the Star Wars: Clone Wars movie (sigh). It was actually more fun to debrief afterwards.  My thoughts in a later post on why Star Wars is starting to (fingersssss…sta..rting…to…ssssseeize…up)  suck.
• I’m starting to get that old familiar feeling.  You know the one I mean, since I’m sure you feel it too.  Christmas is coming!!
• I had a side-by-side comparison of Cocoa Puffs and Cinnamon Toast Crunch.  Winner: CTC. (And it doesn’t make you feel like you’ve been chewing glass the next morning.)
• When Floridians get bored, they manufacture a hurricane to spice things  up.