Tip o' My Brain

September 2, 2010

The Crazies in 13 seconds

Filed under: Uncategorized — kryptobrent @ 10:05 am

What could have been another zombie retread becomes a paranoid fantasy about what happens when your neighbors start going crazy. The military scenes notwithstanding, the film’s power is the silence–as these people escape across barren fields you know they’re very, very alone.

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July 26, 2010

The Losers in 13 seconds

Filed under: 13 Second Review,Uncategorized — kryptobrent @ 3:06 pm

Not the funniest, actiony-ist movie out there, but I thought it did  just fine.  Hollywood genre films come in waves, and this preceded this years A-Team crop (followed by, well, The A-Team last month and the Expendables next month).  Worth a spin.

July 18, 2010

Big Trouble in Little China in 13 seconds

Filed under: 13 Second Review,Uncategorized — kryptobrent @ 10:46 pm

John Carpenter–say what you want, but the man makes movies HIS way. This time around–I’m reminded that a)some movies transcend if you watch them with die-hard fans,  b) some movies are too bizarre to sum up in a a paragraph, and c) Lo Pan’s “Indeed!” is the possibly the best one-word one-liner ever.

Black Dynamite in 13 seconds

Filed under: 13 Second Review,Uncategorized — kryptobrent @ 10:20 pm

It helps to have my wife in the room yelling “Boobs!” so I know when to look down.  During this movie I discovered our floor shows too much dust.  But I admit I laughed a few times. And it succeeds at aping the blaxploitation vibe.

Half Baked in 13 seconds

Filed under: 13 Second Review,Uncategorized — kryptobrent @ 10:12 pm

I knew it would happen–I’m reviewing a movie that I can’t recommend and might make some wonder why I watched it at all. One nice thing–a guy realizes he has to decide between being comfortable or being an adult.  Knocked Up did it better.

November 5, 2008

Why do I feel guilty for not blogging?

Filed under: Uncategorized — kryptobrent @ 1:03 pm

It’s not like you guys are paying me to write these posts here!  In other words, I feel I should hold you all personally responsible for my blogging inactivity.  Shame on all of you!  I also hold you all responsible for the popularity of “Dancing with the Stars.”

July 10, 2008

Can’t…breathe…

Filed under: Uncategorized — kryptobrent @ 9:10 am

I just realized this morning…I haven’t heard Jordin Sparks’ “No Air” on the radio for the last  two days!  Not even once, let alone three or four times!  Somebody’s slipping!!

June 9, 2008

Random Thoughts I Discovered this Weekend–In my head edition

Filed under: Uncategorized,Weekend Discoveries — kryptobrent @ 3:56 pm
  • We had two women house guests at Casa de Larson this past weekend. Darcy was throwing a baby shower for one of them. Upshot? Twofold: 1)On a scale of 1 to 10, our couch scores a reasonable 6. 2) Anyone know how to find the leak in an air mattress?
  • My capacity for being in the same room as the E! channel=negligible.
  • My wife can apparently throw a kickin’ party.
  • Darcy’s the only one I know who really liked the new Indy movie.
  • I did a Tae-Kwon-Do scrimmage Saturday morning. I fought three people. I got beaten three times. I feel pretty good about it, weirdly enough. I think the kicks to the head may have affected my reasoning and noter kslm,s.
  • While the shower was going on, I had lunch with my friend Steve, we saw Kung Fu Panda, I went to Planet Smoothie, had a hot tub-sized Grape Ape and watched an episode of Buffy on my computer. What bliss!
  • Everyone’s freaked out about gas prices (this was more of a rediscovering)
  • The Thin Red Line doesn’t get better with multiple viewings.
  • I love me some Battlestar Galactica!
  • I really like that song by that chick about Bleeding Love…what’s her name? (Wait here while I google it…Leona Lewis). Anyway, it sticks in my head and I can’t get it out. I sing it out loud almost every day, driving my wife bazonkers. Weirdly enough, I don’t mind. Why? Because it chased out the “I Can’t Wait to see you again” song by Mily how do you spell it…(wait here…Miley Cyrus), which I DON’T like but took up residence in my head anyway.

April 25, 2008

B4P BFF!!

Filed under: Shallow Thoughts,Uncategorized — kryptobrent @ 9:23 am

Paris Hilton recently talked about her new show, “Paris Hilton’s My New BFF.” In this show she will apparently begin a search for a new best friend. In her own words, “I just want to see the contestants and see how they are. I don’t care if it’s a boy or a girl, just as long as its someone I can trust, someone I can have fun with and just someone who’s going to be able to like handle all the other things that are going to come with being my best friend.”

My thoughts:

  • Paris is kinda thick.
  • Paris thinks the 85,000 people who want a shot at the title all want to be her friend because she’s such a great person.
  • Paris uses the word “really” too much.
  • Paris probably needs someone to tell her that the second F in BFF stands for “Forever”–in other words, this person is supposed to still be her best friend when she’s 60 and the Botox has made her lips look like two harp seals sunbathing on top of each other.
  • Paris needs someone who won’t suck up to her, who will tell her the truth about herself so she’ll grow as a person; someone, in fact, who probably doesn’t even like her very much.
  • I CAN DO THIS. I can be Paris’s (‘s’s’s) BFF!

So write in to MTV and vote for me! Brent For Paris’ Best Friend Forever!

March 5, 2008

Manhhhhuuurgh…

Filed under: Movies are, like, so cool,Uncategorized — kryptobrent @ 9:41 am

As I mentioned yesterday, I tried to watch a Woody Allen movie over the weekend–Manhattan, specifically. I got half an hour into it and…I just couldn’t do it. I turned it off and deleted it off my DVR. This may not seem like a big deal, except that I NEVER DO THIS–when I choose to watch a movie I’m actually investing myself in the story for 2 hours, regardless of how good or bad it is.

In the car with Darcy a little while later, I explained why, in detail (I know she appreciates it when I do this). “It didn’t go anywhere! A lot of Woody Allen movies are that way–it’s just about talking and taaaalking, without saying anything! It just amounts to a bunch of liberal intellectual types who are so self absorbed they think their own pathetic lives are the center of the universe! And they don’t believe in right or wrong–to them, they can’t do any wrong. They can justify themselves into oblivion! Why do people like these movies? TCM [the channel I recorded it off of] gave it 3 and a half stars! Why? Did they do that because they loved it or because they felt like they were supposed to love it? Why do actors want to keep working with this guy whose voice sounds like he’s TRYING to annoy…”

I then realized that, if I in fact had said voice, I’d sound just like Woody Allen. Oh my Gwaaaaaaaawd!!!!!!!!!

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