Tip o' My Brain

July 5, 2007

Bad Movie Blues

Filed under: Movies are, like, so cool — kryptobrent @ 9:04 am

Over the past few days, I’ve been watching some of the Batman movies.  Last night Darcy and I finished watching Batman and Robin, with George Clooney and Chris O’Donnell in the title roles (my personal copy of the film).  Now, I’m sure this prompts a response in you, something akin to the following: “Are you insane?  And you own your own copy?! And I thought I knew you!!”

I understand your disgust and revulsion.  I know the Bat Nipples and bad dialogue came very close to killing a beloved character’s screen future.  But I watched it anyway.  This post is my attempt to understand my own motivation behind watching movies that I know full well could be used to extract information from terrorist suspects.  Here’s my ideas.

  • It’s fun to anticipate bad lines.  Batman and Robin, in particular, is the Romeo and Juliet of bad dialogue.   (Actually, I guess Batman and Robin is the Batman and Robin of bad dialogue.)
  • There’s nothing else to watch (THIS IS NEVER THE CASE–GOD BLESS AMERICA).
  • I enjoy knowing that people are getting paid gobs of money to make movies that are the equivalent of eating broken glass, when I could (and I say this without hyperbole) do a better job with no training and no money (in many cases, I could do better with a concussion).
  • I subconsciously hate myself, and feel like I need punishing.
  • I’m tied up and I’m incapable of changing the channel.  I’m considering learning self-hypnosis in case this ever happens.  It’s a dangerous world out there…

One and three are actually true of me.  Bad dialogue can sometimes be like the car wreck you can’t can’t turn your eyes away from (only it’s for your ears).  And I consider a full-priced theatrical screening of the movie “McHale’s Navy” back in the late nineties to be one of the events that kickstarted my desire to get into film.  After all, if people paid money to make that, the future is a bright place for me indeed!

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