Tip o' My Brain

November 13, 2008

“I don’t THINK so.”

Filed under: Movie Lines that Should Die — kryptobrent @ 12:53 pm

Example: Batman Forever (among many, many others)

This one was brought to my attention by alert reader David Hahn, who’s got a sweet site you should check out. He says it best…

“One that should die is when, in an act of defiance at a crucial moment after the villain has stated his intentions, the angry hero responds with “I don’t THINK so.”

Vomit.”

A good point, David.  To which I could only add the PERFECT ENDING…

Villian: “I don’t care what you think.” BANG.

Villian wins, unleashes horror on the world that destroys humanity, but decisively ends the threat of reality television. A bittersweet ending, and a sobering wake up call to Dancing with the Stars fans everywhere.

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August 19, 2008

It’s Coming!!

Filed under: Movie Lines that Should Die — kryptobrent @ 1:05 pm

(in honor of the massive, terrifying approach of Hurricane…no wait, Tropical Storm…no wait, mildly depressed Fay.)

As seen in: Twister

Usually a character screaming said line at the top of his/her lungs, waving a finger behind him/her, and stating the obvious. Also used to denote impending arrival of some other threat, like dinosaurs. Unfortunately, these people usually survive.

Unrelated safety tip: When you see something threatening bearing down on you, don’t run, or get protective gear. Simply turn from it and yell, “It’s coming!” That’ll do it.

May 5, 2008

We’ve Got Company

Filed under: Movie Lines that Should Die — kryptobrent @ 10:33 am

(Matt brought this to my attention)

Example: Mr. and Mrs. Smith

Use: When a character informs another character of the arrival of hostiles.

PERFECT SUBSEQUENT SCENARIO THAT WILL PROBABLY NEVER BE USED: Hostiles ring doorbell with a covered casserole and say “Sorry we’re late!”

March 11, 2008

You Need to Get Out More

Filed under: Movie Lines that Should Die — kryptobrent @ 9:02 am

Example: Count of Monte Cristo

Usually used when someone says, “Wow!  I’ve never seen a _________ _________ so _________!” (e.g. “I’ve never seen a swordsman fight so impressively” or “I’ve never seen a meteor plummet so swiftly!” or “I’ve never seen a Smallville episode suck so completely!”).  Was popularized, I believe, by the ad campaign for Hot Shots Part Deux (“If you only see one movie this  year…you need to get out more!”) This was funny.  All instances since then? Nope. Laaaaazy writing.  Demand more from your scriptwriters!!!

February 27, 2008

There’s Something You Don’t see Every Day

Filed under: Movie Lines that Should Die — kryptobrent @ 10:46 am

Example: Molly Brown (Kathy Bates) in Titanic

Yes, it’s a sardonic response to something awesome happening right in front of you, when sardonic might be appropriate. It was funny once.  ONCE.

February 14, 2008

“Nooooooo!”

Filed under: Movie Lines that Should Die — kryptobrent @ 2:20 pm

(Rob pointed this one out.)

As seen in: Star Wars Episode III

Final Story Conference:

Producer: “Hey George! Here’s the scenario– Darth Vader, feared and loved by kids for thirty years, pulls himself free off the operating table. What must be going through his mind! He’s just found out he inadvertently killed his own wife and has lost everything. So can he say anything that doesn’t boil down to a response so cliched and overused, it’s become it’s own punchline?”

GL: No.

P: What’s that? I can’t hear you over my ipod.

GL: I said, no!

P: I’m sorry…how do you turn this thing off?

GL: NOOOOOOOOOO!!!

P: …Really? It’s risky, but…you’re the boss.

February 12, 2008

That’s Going to Leave a Mark

Filed under: Movie Lines that Should Die — kryptobrent @ 12:31 pm

I’m starting a new category–Movie Lines that Should Die. You know when you see a movie and you hear a joke that should be funny, and maybe was–ten years ago? I hate those. It’s weak writing, and frankly, insulting–like the filmmakers thought they could slip one past me. So I’m going to start blogging about it. I’d like to try something different this time, though–I’m opening it up to my vast audience (both of you) to contribute. If you see a movie and you’ve heard that line before, let me know somehow and include a movie or two where you heard it. I’ll feature it here and I’ll give you credit. And don’t google “overused movie lines” or something–that’s cheating!

Now here’s my first one:

“That’s going to leave a mark.”

Example: Tommy Boy

Yes, it did leave a mark. And, after what seems like dozens of uses in other movies, we’re still paying for that mark.

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