A Sequel to Gladiator?!?

Yup, you read that right. Russell Crowe and Ridley Scott are seriously discussing the possibility. This movie is in my top five of all time for several reasons, which I’ll talk about some other time. For now, though, here’s five reasons why a sequel is a bad idea…

5. Well, let’s start with the obvious. Maximus died at the end. And it was, as movie deaths go, pretty great.

4. Uh…well, Commodus (Joaquin Phoenix) also died at the end.

3. Um…

2. …

1. *cough*

Alright. FINE. If they make it, I’ll go see it. Jerks!

Crank!

Darcy and I went to see the movie “Crank” with Jason Statham.  Here’s our experience, to the tune of “Shaft.”

What’s the flick we went to AMC,

Tho’ we didn’t know jack ’bout what we’d see?

“Crank!”

What had f-bombs flyin’ like crazy

Which shows, I a’thinkin’, that the writing is lazy?

“Crank!”

Nope…couldn’t dig it.

It’s not complica-hay-ted, when they try give it edge it just looked stoooopid…Darn Crank!!!

What had so much baaaaad stuff,

It’s obviously to sell tickets to who cain’t get ’nuff…

“Crank!”

What made Darc and I walk away

(and I haven’t walked outta a theater in a decade)

“Crank!”

We headed for the doors, sayin “Jason, maybe we see you for Transporter 3 or 4″…You suck, Crank!!

Nope….didn’t dig it at all.

He’s Back!

I didn’t post anything last week because I was on a staff retreat/cruise with my staff team. How was it, you ask? Well, I gained back several of the pounds I’ve been fighting so hard to lose over the past few months…which I consider a highlight. Also, it was the first time Darc and I had ever been on a cruise with people we knew (in this case, about 15 of ’em). It was fun watching them experience the wonders of a cruise. Darcy and I love cruising–I think later this week I’ll tell you why.

The staff meetings? Well, they could have been worse. However, the fact that we had to have them at all did somewhat lessened the mystique of the whole experience. And it prompts me to add…

“Having staff meetings on a cruise boat is like winning a new Mustang convertible…and it’s shocking pink.”

That’s so cool! Or, man, that sucks.

I’m going on a staff retreat next week.  It’s on a cruise boat, Royal Caribbean’s Sovereign of the Seas.  Darcy and I love going on cruises, but this time we’ll have our staff team with us (which is cool) and we’ll be doing staff meetings and talking about team personalities (…).  So what does  this mean?  Will it be like a cruise, only with staff meetings?  Or will it  be like a staff meetings, only with a cruise?  I’ll have to let you know when I get back.

Not So Man of Steel…

Check out these AIDS awareness ads that ran in France a while ago…

The Fall Season

The TV fall season is here, and here are some random wishes I have for that great TV executive in the sky…

1. Okay, the characters are there, the acting chops are there, and over 60 years of story material is there. Please make Smallville better!

2. Arrested Development…funniest show on television. Thus, it should be cancelled. Please, explain. No, really, you have my full attention.

3. Lost…it’s fun sitting around thinking about it and talking about it with my fellow geek Rob. Random numbers, t-rexes, mental powers…Please, let it all mean something. If, in three years, we find out the writers were just surfing the fan blogs and making it up as they go, I’m suing ABC for all those Thursday nights I’ve wasted.

4 . Battlestar Galactica. Netflixed the episodes over the summer. It’s one of my new favorites. Please…keep up your current trend of not pandering to the “Let’s see how much Cylon flesh we can get away with” like you did in season one, and stick to making this the sweet, dark chocolate of shows.

5. Gilmore Girls and Veronica Mars…the best written women on television. Please, let GG stay on top, even though it’s creator/writer just departed after last season. And moreso, pretty please, let GG’s audience stick around for Veronica, the one show (besides Galactica) that I would pitch a serious hissy fit over if my DVR dropped it.

And, finally…

6. Every time David Boreanaz stares down a punk in Bones, I think to myself, “If that were Angel, that guy’d wouldn’t even be breathin’.” Would somebody, for the love of Buffy, bring back the best hero that’s ever been on television! Angel…I’m keeping a candle in the window for ya, buddy.